"After toiling for his demanding employer all day, a man wants to be made to feel as though he's the boss when he crosses his own threshold. Let him dictate important matters at home, from selecting the evening's television programs to choosing what he'd like you to serve for his bedtime snack."
I know, I know--more inflammatory words.
The first time reading through this quote, several thoughts presented themselves:
- "HE'S been toiling all day for demanding people?? Well, so have I!"
- "Dictate. Dictate is short for dictator which we all know is a very self-serving perspective."
- "Choosing what he'd like ME TO SERVE for his bedtime snack? Right. Next."
Take a deep breath (or two, or three). I want to point out something that I found very interesting. Look through the quote again (if you can bring yourself to) and notice a tiny, 3-letter word: "Let."
As in "LET him."
What power that word has. Most of the time I have used my "power" to "let" in the opposite direction--to NOT let. My husband, from the time we were dating, has always deferred to me in matters of preference. He checks with ME about where I want to go, what I want to eat, and what I want to watch. In essence, I have "dictated" because I would invariably choose something that I wanted. Sometimes I would check with him about what he wanted and usually got the "whatever you want" answer. After I while I just stopped checking with him. I informed him.
I decided to ask my husband about this. His response was that, yes, we always do what I want. I asked him if that had been a problem and he said no. (Relief!) But, then he continued. He said that it would be nice if I DID ask him sometimes. That it would be nice for his choices to take precedence on occasion.
That sounds like common decency, doesn't it? So, I've decided to "let" him have a chance to determine his preferences on a more regular basis. To be honest, after 30 years together I'm a little bit bored with my own choices. I know there's a good chance I'll have to watch something that doesn't appeal to my tastes (westerns come to mind), or eat things that wouldn't be my first choice. You know, that might be a nice change.
What a simple, easy way to bless the man you love--whether he's toiled all day or not!
If you've been like me, though, hopefully the shock of your asking his preferences won't be detrimental.